So, as you’ve probably guessed by now, we here at Tokyo Police Club are pretty much athletic dynamos. From hockey to equestrian, from fishing to triathlon, from lawn bowling to regular bowling, our multi-sport virtuosity makes Neon Deon Sanders look more like Crappy Crappy Crapface. Recently we were asked to participate in a basketball tournament later this summer, and because you don’t get a “Participant” ribbon without playing, we agreed. Of course, merely shaming any and all opponents publicly isn’t enough for us, so we’ve started really practicing our skills. After just two practices, we’re already seeing a marked improvement. For instance, today I didn’t even come close to throwing up until the very end of the game, and I only started trying to let the other team win in order to end my suffering after fifteen minutes of play. Progress!
Please find enclosed photographic evidence of our sportingness.